Breathing, But Not Living

This piece was originally written by Heart Yngrid.

All my life, I’ve been caged. I am detained in this invisible cage that no one around can see.

I conceal every pain; hide them beneath smiles and laughter. They have no idea what I’m going through. They do not know I am fighting inner battles. That I am battling with my own demons.

They think that I am tough. That I am invincible. That I am untroubled. That I don’t care about life. They only see what I want them to see. If only they would look closely and take a second to stare into my eyes to see through me, they would see how I am going to perish in a slow, gradual, passive death.

I’ve tried to uncage myself countless times but I failed every time. It wasn’t easy. For I knew that freeing myself would only open a can of worms. That’s why I am still here, standing in the darkness. Breathing, but not living. Moving, but not going anywhere. Dying, but still existing.

I refused to let anyone know that I am dying inside because there are things people around shouldn’t know. They wouldn’t understand, anyway. They just wouldn’t care. But deep in the heart of me, I know I’ve been yearning for someone to come along and obtain the key in this cage to set me free from this dark, wretched life.

I know that person would come and find me. And my sufferings would be visible to his eyes. He would heal my wounds. He would pick up my pieces. He would breathe life into me. And I would want to live again. To see the beauty of life. Outside my cage. Inside his arms.

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